Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Church Pants (Pantalones de Iglesia)

It has been two weeks of my prescribed regime, and I had my first glimmer of hope. This Sunday morning I went to put on my pants, expecting the weekly battle of wills between my britches and I. Usually I engage in verbal arguments with my pants while contorting myself into awkward positions trying to button them. This week was different. No wrestling, no expletives, no jumping up and down - just one smooth motion from the button to the hole. HOW WONDERFUL THE DAY!! Then came the shirt collar, another dreaded buttoning for us bulging behemoths. Same thing! No fighting, no loss of blood flow to my brain for the three hours of church, no unbuttoning every possible button I can as soon as I step foot out of church...just a nice comfortable Sunday in nice comfortable clothes.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Ahoy mateys, I'm sinking the ship...



Ew. I know, right? Here you have the same beautiful pearlbutton snap shirt. The first you see is me in it today. The next you see is me in it three years ago with my even lovelier wife. Gross...gross...gross. My goal is to fit this again. I owe it to myself and my family. I am currently 268 putrid pounds. I am going to get down to 200. My buddy Skyler, of IdealShape out of Provo, has graciously outlined a detailed exercise and nutrition plan for me to follow. Have you seen that episode of Simpsons where Homer gets a helper monkey named Mojo who he teaches to indulge in his gluttonous ways, and at the end of the episode he goes back to his trainer's doorstep all fat and sloppy and punches in the words on his spell machine "pray for Mojo". Well I'm at your doorstep punching in the words on my spell machine "pray for Brian". I will update this a couple times a week with my progression photos and various things I learn from Skyler along the way. Pray for Brian.